Community Calms Crisis

How to strengthen social networks to ease crisis response

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In this toolkit, we'll cover things often overlooked when trying to build a healthy community and support network. Stress gets to the best of us, and we can easily forget how to healthily communicate and support each other. So here's a simple guide of ways to make building community easier.

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Healthy Boundaries

Basics of consent don't just apply in the bedroom. Any form of stressful or personal actions – from venting to hugs – are worth asking about first. It can be as simple as “hey, I'm having a tough time, can I vent to you?” to “I'm here to listen, would you prefer suggestions or comfort?” Reaching out is always a good thing, but sometimes people aren't available. So finding a diverse group of friends and companions to build your safety net is important.

Third Spaces

Build friendships and community through 'third places' or 'third spaces' – places that are free to go, where you can meet people. Libraries, religious groups, volunteering, and more! Cafes, clubs, gyms, even parks and local community or college theater. Find cheap or free places that you can talk to people at. Even as simple things as “I like your shirt, where did you get it?” or “hey, I overheard you talking about [mutual interest], can I join you? I love it too!” can break the ice. Making friends can seem daunting, but it's as simple as extending an invitation to someone. That first invitation is much easier when you're already somewhere of mutual interest!

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Kindness and Diverse Opinions

Now I'm not talking about 'opinions' on immutable human rights. Obviously if someone believes entire groups don't deserve to have rights, or even exist, they're not worth talking to. But disagreements will happen over simpler things, even if they're things that mean a lot to us. Being able to come from a place of seeking to understand, being kind in your word choices, and not 'yucking on someone's yum' is important. Someone loves Hawaiian pizza but you can't stand pineapple on it? Take a breath and laugh it off. Someone agree on the ends to a problem, but not the means? Ask to go through pros and cons of each step together, or share your beliefs in ways that don't dismiss or disparage theirs. Learning to work together when friction occurs is a valuable skill. And one necessary to healthy relationships, long term.

Self Reflection as a Skill

Finally, there's self reflection. Being able to reassure yourself when given constructive criticism or facing other rejection is important. Being able to navigate thoughts on where both sides are coming from, and acknowledging difference isn't inherently bad is wonderful. And most importantly, not getting hung up on always being right is incredibly necessary. Learning and growth are constant and lifelong, and taking other perspectives into account – especially those we haven't considered or don't immediately agree with – is a strong skill to keep learning and growing.

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It can feel daunting, even overwhelming, when the world seems against you. Fight or flight response can easily make us forget the basics of community building.

But taking time to reach out, and strengthen social networks, is important for surviving difficult times. It often feels or looks harder than it is. So try taking the first steps today!